Newbie Course - Empowered Exploration
Class #3 - Desire & Self-Expression
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venue
Private Oasis
BIA LAND, IE, CA |
host
Club BIAVida
951-523-0587 contact.us@bialsclub.com |
Newbie Course — Class #3: Desire & Self-Expression
A relaxed Sunday for couples new to the lifestyle, all about figuring out what the two of you want.
What this day is about
Sooner or later, every couple exploring the lifestyle hits the same question: okay, so what do we actually want? Some people have had an answer tucked away for years. Plenty of others have never really sat down and thought about it. Both are normal, and both are a fine place to start.
It's called a class, but it's pretty laid-back. There's a little structure and a couple of guided activities to get the two of you talking about desire. The rest of the time you're hanging out with other couples who are new to this too.
When your partner tells you what excites them, you're learning something about them. Nobody's signing up for anything, and nobody's expected to act on anything.
What you'll explore together:
- Thinking through what kind of experience would excite you, even if you've never stopped to picture one
- Landing on something that gets both of you excited, which makes a huge difference once you start exploring
- Saying out loud the things you've been curious about but haven't brought up yet
- Hearing your partner's desires with curiosity and zero pressure to act on them
- Sorting out which ideas you'd like to try one day and which are more fun staying in your head
- Turning your fantasy into a plan you chase together. It gives you an exciting reason to explore lifestyle spaces, even if one or both of you isn't ready to play with others yet.
No fantasy in mind yet? That's where a lot of couples start. The guided activities are there to help you dig in together, and you choose how much you join in. Watching counts.
You'll also meet couples who are right where you are, with the same questions and the same nerves. Nobody's expecting you to play with anyone. Making friends who get it is reason enough to come.
Your journey through the rest of the course
Each Sunday takes on a different piece of exploring together. Come to one or come to all of them.
Foundations of Safety & Connection
Agreements, communication, and comfort as a couple.
Honesty & Transparency
Honest communication and truth-telling that build trust between partners.
Boundaries & Consent
Practice holding your line with clearer agreements and real-time consent.
Integration & Empowerment
Bring it all together with more confidence, clarity, and shared direction.
Dates are subject to change.
First-Timer FAQ
If you're nervous, that's normal. Tap any question to see the answer.
Who is this for?
Couples who are new to the lifestyle and want an easy, low-pressure way to explore together.
We're working on future Sundays that will be more inclusive of singles and other relationship structures.
We haven't been to any of the earlier Sundays. Can we start here?
Yes. Each one stands on its own, so jump in wherever you are. If you'd like to catch the ones you missed, fill out the Newbie Interest Form at the bottom of this page and we'll let you know when they come back around.
Can we attend if we're dating casually or not in a primary partnership?
These Sundays are built for established couples exploring together. A lot of what we talk about depends on shared history and a partner you plan to keep building with.
If that's not where you are right now, a future offering may be a better fit.
Can I bring a different partner to different classes?
No. The person you bring should be your actual partner, someone you're in a relationship with, and not someone you've paired up with just to get in the door.
Whichever Sundays you attend, you attend them together. Everything we do is about building trust between the two of you, and that only works when it's the same two people each time.
Do we have to participate in everything?
No. Everything is optional. Check in with each other and go at a pace that feels good to you both. Watching, sitting something out, or taking a break together is always fine.
Is nudity required?
No. Some activities are clothing-optional, but nobody has to undress. You two decide what feels right.
Is there pressure to be sexual?
No. This is about getting comfortable and staying connected in a new environment. There may be some sexual energy in the space, but nobody's going to pressure you.
Is swapping or partner exchange part of it?
No. There's no swapping, partner exchange, or assumed access. Everything is opt-in, and you explore as a couple.
What if one of us is more excited than the other?
That happens a lot. Nobody needs to catch up. We'll help you find a pace you both feel good about.
What if we get overwhelmed or uncomfortable?
That's okay, and pretty normal when you're trying something new. You can step away, sit out, ask for support, or change your minds anytime. Staff are around to help you both feel safe.
What if we don't know our boundaries yet?
You don't need to have it all figured out. "Not sure" and "not tonight" are both good answers.
Will we be touched?
Only if you say yes. Touch is never assumed, and a lot of what happens is social or observation-based.
Is it confidential?
Yes. Discretion is one of our core agreements. What's shared in the space stays in the space.
We're still nervous. Is that normal?
Totally. Curiosity and nerves tend to show up together. You don't need to get rid of the nerves to come. Keep checking in with each other and go at your own pace.
Can't make October 4th?
Fill out the Newbie Interest Form and we'll keep you posted on upcoming Sundays.
